The way it is!

To the best of my knowledge, I think I’m wounding up in the boneyard because of me and my pathetic little self highness.

I was experiencing life as everyone, but inside me there are some kind if things inside, which I can’t explain at all, this is one if the try, I’m going to make out dude of own boundaries.

Whenever I’m kind of successful in real life, this basted people see me and come out of without warring, so I tend to take them all in one time as I need some short of companionship, ones I take then in there is no way out of it.

There are time to time I chased them off as well, whenever I follow my mind most of the time just vanished but they will be quickly comeback to like putting my moral down, that’s what happened last night!

These little things some time gave me hell of life experience but lot of it gone through with the loved ones or the people who trusted me much, what I’m going to do to end this war inside my mind is real reason, I’m writing this down!

Since I was very young I was kind of good boy with a self respected person! When I was so much young, I tend to steal money that I can reach, that was continued until some decades back.

Since young I was having Alex with my cousin sisters & brothers on and off, even when I know about woman’s Virginia, but something drove me that particular point, without knowing it!

There are two occasions I was get caught by my mother and sister for sexual conduct with cousins, by that time I was only 5 years old or less! Most of my sexual was oral one, which they done for me, only one particular time it was a kissing, but I never ever interested in kissing but my own oral pleasure, however I never intend to to see the woman’s Virginia by that time, that will never accord in my mind.

With my cousin brothers we used to watch porn movies & had sex on and off, sucking was the major thing part of sex activities, most of the time I tent to go for renting porn, there a are lots of time, I was unsuccessful to rent a porn and I lied them much as I can, some occasions they rented out or bought friends to show me, most of the time I wondered how my cousin sisters Virginia look like but I never tend to ask them or sow it, this happened when I was 16 yeas old time!

Before they turning 16 years old I have inserted my middle finger to Virginia and touched the Brest that I wanted, since they trusting to 16, I didn’t hand any kind of sexual activities with them.

I was done my schooling and studies very hard to stay in the line of educating, most of the people who knew about Western nations has migrated for studies or to work, I never been ai much interested to find that way out.

I got a job back in 96 after awaiting for my results, it was a banquet waiter, I did work only less than a week, cause I doesn’t fit for me, as its hard to tool the tables or to server the customers holding 16 glasses of drinks.

I’ve been poured a drink in one of the customers Brest one time, that was the last time I ever worked there! At the same night I was drinking all the left out vine in the glasses which I took from the table, I was dizzy too, hardly I ever I walked.

But that wasn’t my first time dizzy with vine, but I didn’t drink that much or didn’t had a chance to drink until I was at Qatar.

I was on and off traveling after I’ve done my ordinary level, as my father worked in a tea plantations, when I was alone, I had a beer to see what was really doing it to me, but nothing surprising happened, so I thought that would be that, but later in my life I found out, what is beer really can do!

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