RefAi’s daemon

Dear Sister,

I got lost out there in this world, about to lose the battle and cross the line and about to make another big mistake in this life ones again.

I’m not Looking for a brand new way to fall down again, I really don’t know where I’m lacking the most of it, even though trying to stay away from every thing but something and everything around me keeps dragging me in every minute of my life.

It’s no surprise that things gotten worse because i can’t understand it or why it making me this, can’t help thinking to myself, what if my time would end
today?

If I died today that would be better than anything but can I guarantee that I will get another chance before it’s too late, say I’m sorry to my beloved father, mother and my sister and her kids. I’m haunting my days and consuming your prayers to live every moment, cause I know my time has numbered my days.

I did make the ones I love feel so alone, While I was having the time of my life, I think my soul died a little every day When I left home and family, I did let myself get so far gone.

All I had to do to save my own life, that’s why I did this hard honest close call, I didn’t have to lie to myself for so long but for the rest of the loved ones is so different, and meaningless, I didn’t have to die to go to heaven but I just had to go home, now I don’t have one, its too late to understand it!

My heart is so full of regret, Now is the right time for me to repent, I know that, but I really don’t know where to start or finished it.

I’m out of my mind? What did I do? I feel so bad, can’t help it, but I haven’t thought about or did anything wrong for any one, oh god every time I try to start all over again, my shame comes back to haunt me.

I’m trying hard to walk away but temptation is surrounding me, but I have take all of it but yet I see I’m just sitting in the corner of the life.

I wish that I could find the strength to
change my life before it’s too late.

I promised to always be there, when You call upon me, but I’m sorry ma I didn’t.

So now I’m standing here
ashamed of all the mistakes I’ve committed, Please don’t turn me away and hear my prayer when I need the most And I thank god you never let me drown

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